Perks Of The Job

I am a funeral director and in September 1980 the family of a deceased woman asked me if I would accompany the remains to Israel and supervise the burial. This is something I was never called upon to do before, but since the family was compensating me for my time, and paying for me to fly first-class, I thought “why not!”

When I arrived at Kennedy Airport in New York, I was surprised to see some of the family at the passenger terminal. Normally they would be down at the cargo area to witness the body being put on the plane. The daughter of the deceased women introduced me to her 19 year old daughter (I was 34 at the time) who had decided to attend the burial also. The granddaughter was seated in coach for the trip. About an hour into the flight, one of the flight attendants noticed I was going into the coach section often and speaking to the young lady. The attendant asked me if there was a problem, and I told her that this young lady’s grandmother had died and we were flying with the remains to Israel for burial. The flight attendant invited the granddaughter to move into first-class right next to me.

The granddaughter thought I had something to do with her getting the free upgrade and gave me a big hug to thank me. Then she said I must be a very compassionate person to be able to do what I do (conduct funerals). Then she asked me if I could give her some compassion. I gently held her hand and told her that there was obviously a lot of love between her and her grandmother. She told me that was not really the case, but she would like a lot of love to be exchanged between US! With that, she stuck her hand right down my pants. Needless to say I rose to the occasion! Within two minutes we were in the bathroom having sex like two bunny’s. In less than an hour, we were back doing it again! The plane made a stop in London and we go off to have a bite to eat.

Back on the plane as soon as the seat belt light went off, so did we, right to the bathroom. On this segment of the flight there were more people in first-class who watched us go into the bathroom together. From London to Tel Aviv, we found it necessary to make three trips to the bathroom…Thank God I was young and in good shape!

In Israel, I stayed in a hotel for two nights (getting some much needed rest) and she stayed with relatives. Then came the return flight home, and it was a repeat performance! In what was about twelve hours of actual flight time, we made six visits to the bathroom.

Less than an hour before landing I told this young lady that I was in the process of getting divorced (which was the truth) and asked her if she would like to get together back home, as long as the age difference didn’t bother her. I figured that once or twice a week I could have some great sex. Her reply was…”oh my God no!” I’m engaged and getting married next month! She then took her engagement ring out of her purse and put it on! When the plane landed in New York, her fiancee was there to meet her. She introduced us to each other and I wished them both the best of happiness in their marriage. The groom to-be asked me if I had a pleasant flight and said he hoped I didn’t find his bride to be too boring. I told him that we shared some very lovely experiences on the flights and that she was a very special young lady.

I don’t know what was more shocking, finding out she was engaged and meeting her fiancee, or not being able to get out of my head the fact that each time we were making love in that plane, her grandmother was right in the cargo hold beneath us!

Name Date Airline Flight # Time
Bruce Jacobs September, 1980 September, 1980 Evening
Aircraft From To Location Altitude
747 New York (JFK) Tel Aviv First Class 38,000 ft