It was the last chance and the final leg of our last flight. After months of late night debate, research, and training, the opportunity to achieve club status was reaching its final moments. Headstrong and focused, we hoped to evade the many difficulties that could arise – bad timing, fear, anxiety, “equipment malfunction”, nosey neighbors, paranoid stewards, etc. However, extreme giddiness, excitability and the mere fact of doing something downright naughty proved to work in our favor. Failure was not an option. Having completed a full flight assessment, it was mutually decided that a successful mission could only occur in the rear laboratory of the plane, leaving behind the dreams of backseat love under a blanket with a million dollar view from a window seat.
As soon as the refreshment cart was fully stocked and ready for service, we realized that GO time was right around the corner. The stewardess finally made her way up front to do battle with a co-worker and begin beverage services. This moment was our only chance- we had to make our move and make it fast. Taking a last peek around each shoulder to make sure all innocent by-standers were distracted and no competition stood in our way. . . . it was time- just three steps into that right rear bathroom. My partner in crime joined shortly after and that door was locked shut with double occupancy behind it. You never really notice just how small the restrooms are on a plane. There was little to zero space that would allow for any fancy maneuvers. I do remember my head hitting the bathroom wall a few times and was quite loud- we couldn’t stop laughing and were in fear that the pissed off, all ready having a horrible day, miserable, flight attendant might come back soon.
Mile high club member status was no longer what some consider to be legendary chatter or hear-say… The deed was done with class and prestige.
Two double sky vodka and cranberries were ordered for a post- celebration toast with remains of a crimson sunset behind us. We were that happy couple. Despite what you may hear- mile high club status is real, and does happen to ordinary people like you and me. All it takes is a destination, bathroom, and a little courage at 5,280 ft.