Name: Mr. Nicolai 24.01.2019
Airline: Ryan Air
Flight Number: FR8996
From: Dublin To: Munich
Time: Afternoon
Aircraft: 737
Location: Lavatory
Altitude: 33790
The Story: Me and my girlfriend had planned to join the infamous Mile High Club already in December.
Here is how we did it and what made it quite a challenge.
Enjoy!
First Flight Lufthansa (Munich – Wroclaw):
Our plan was to sneak to the Lavatory without the stewardess noticing. So we booked separated seats for less attention. Our Code word was ‘Avocado’ but due to signal loss I couldn’t send it to her per whatsapp. I had to improvise.
So I wrote ‘Avocado’ on my phone, walked through the seat rows and showed it to her. Then I walked straight to the careful selected Lavatory and waited.
And waited. And waited. She didn’t show up.
After half an hour of hoping to hear the secret knocking on the door I went back to my seat. After the landing we met outside. I was so confused why she didn’t show up. Turned out the reason was a fucking stupid stewardess who thought it would be a reasonable idea to send her to the business class toilet instead of the economy class toilet which passengers are supposed to go to.
1:0 Stewardess
Second Flight Lufthansa (Wroclaw – Munich):
On our flight back we didn’t make the mistake to sit so far away from each other. This time everything seemed to work like planned. Soon we both found ourselves in the Lavatory after a few complications because so many people used the bathroom.
As we were making out inside the Lavatory and getting rid of our pants, we tried to find a comfortable position which wasn’t easy at all. Those toilets were literally made for hobits. Every few seconds someone passed the door and made us very uncomfortable.
And right at the moment as I was about to enter her from behind we heard the stewardess dare rolling and someone UNLOCKED the fucking door from outside. I quickly locked the door again. We looked at us, adrenaline pumping through our veins. I was convinced they caught us.
Why else would they unlock it?
We put back on our clothes and I expected the whole crew staring at us when we step outside. I opened the door and sneaked at glimpse – nobody there.
We went slowly outside – nobody standing there. I was confused. Why would the stewardess unlock the toilet and walk away?
We went back to our seats and tried to figure out what happened. My girlfriend sat down next to me and we looked disappointed into each others eyes.
2:0 Stewardess
Then the stewards came and guess what they did.
They fucking smiled and laughed at us! What the fuck? Did they just wanted to scare us or some shit?
Anyways we tried to enjoy the rest of the flight and made out a few times. And every time they stared and smiled into our direction. At this point I liked them and thought it was funny.
In my mind I let go of the belief that we’d made it into the mile high club on this flight.
But then the stewards went to the front door to sell something.
In our seat row was no one except of us so it was the perfect time for a Mile High blowjob. And as awesome as my girlfriend is, she did it.
Soon we landed but now I wasn’t sure if we were in the Mile High Club or not..
We were discussing about it and the official Regulations say: “Sexual Activities” one mile above sea level. So Technically we were in the Mile High Club. But it felt so incomplete cause we didn’t really do it in the Lavatory.
We tried to convince us that we truly are in the Mile High Club but there was still this itching thing which said:
“No! You must not entitle yourself as a member of the MHC. This is not enough!”
Flight #3 Ryanair (Munich – Dublin):
So we decided in the same night to book another flight to any destination to complete our mission and to finally be able to raise into the holy heaven of the MHC legends.
Due to financial limitations we booked the cheapest flight available.
A Ryanair flight to Dublin for 17 Bucks. And a flight back to Munich the very day after for another 17 Bucks.
One month later we found ourselves at the airport again. Everything seemed to work like planned. We went to our separated seats as always, didn’t talk to each other so no one knows we know each other and we felt ready to accomplish our mission.
But soon problem after problem appeared. The toilets were even smaller. There were so many people on the plain, they literally constantly went to the toilets. And the stewardesses, one especially, were unfriendly as fuck.
They complained about standing in the path to the lavatory and it was almost impossible to get into the Room without a Stewardess standing right next to it. I went in their anyway and was hoping my girlfriend will find a way. Half an hour later I heard the knocking. I unlocked the door but heard the voice of an elderly woman and locked it again.
Another fifteen minutes later I went back to my seat. My girlfriend told me what I expected. There were to many people in front of the bathroom.
Not much time was left so we had to act soon. I told my girlfriend she should go to the left Lavatory. So she did.
I waited 30 seconds and wanted to follow but right then the ugly stupid Stewardess walked between the doors. And she started a fucking tea party with the other stewardesses.
Like, aren’t they supposed to work or at least to not annoy passengers?
They pissed me off and I wasn’t horny anymore at all. And the ugly face of that stupid Stewardess bitch didn’t help me with it.
Then finally they went back to the front and I jumped back to the Lavatory were my girlfriend was waiting.
We made out and tried to hurry up. But the fact that I wasn’t horny at all didn’t make things easier. Soon we tried it from behind which is probably the only position which can work in this tiny room.
And then again someone knocked on the door.
We were smashed out of our reality and my girlfriend kind of panicked.
So she went outside. I followed 20 seconds later.
3:0 stewardess
I was so pissed at this stewardess. I complained the whole flight.
And every time she walked past us we made out extra hard to annoy her cause it is “inappropriate” to do that in an airplane. I even heard her talking to her college: “Should we stop them? There are kids!”
I hated her.
Flight #4 Ryanair (Dublin – Munich):
Our last flight. Our last chance.
It was Thursday the 24th of January.
We entered the Airplane last because we almost missed our flight.
And as we walked across the airfield towards the stairs, the warm wind blowing through my gorgeous girlfriends hair and the setting sun spotlighting us, I realized we are the shit.
And the shit is about to join the Mile High Club.
After the departure. The toilet rampage started again. but soon there was some space for us. I tapped my girlfriend on the shoulder. “It’s time.”
She picked up her wash bag and toothbrush and walked into the lavatory.
Our lavatory.
I passed up until nobody was looking, knocked on the door and slipped inside.
This time we did it.
After an amazing blowjob we fucked our way into the Mile High Club like gods. I was so into it I didn’t think about any noises we made or if someone would knock on the door. I just enjoyed our awesomeness.
Mission Accomplished.
We went back to the seats and made out for the rest of the flight hovering in our shimmer of victory.
Also, on the way out I high-fived one of the stewardesses and cheered “Mile High Club!”
Best,
Nico & Lisa
By the way. We might be the first who successfully joined the MHC during a Ryanair flight. (Which are always Short-Haul flights and during the daytime).
Anyway, intercontinental flights definitely won’t be a challenge for us in the future.
Maybe Sex on the Moon.